When we hire a helper for our parents, we usually focus on the chores—the mopping, the laundry, and making sure the 3-in-1 coffee is ready at 8 AM. But at gentleHelp, we see so many seniors who just sit in the living room staring at the TV for 10 hours a day while the helper scrubs a floor that’s already clean.
That’s not caregiving; that’s just "waiting."
When Ah Gong and Ah Ma stay inactive, they lose their strength and their memory fast. As the employer, you can guide your helper to do a few small things that keep both of them moving. Here’s how to do it without making your helper feel like she’s being "punished" with extra work.
1. The "Kettle Boiling" Workout
We don’t need our parents to run a marathon. We just need them not to get "stiff."
- The Ground Reality: Our seniors often sit in their favorite chairs the whole morning.
- The Instruction: Tell your helper that while she’s waiting for the kettle to boil for the morning coffee, she should get both Ah Gong and Ah Ma to do 5 minutes of seated leg lifts or arm stretches together.
- Why it works: It’s "dead time" anyway. By the time the coffee is stirred, their joints are already warmed up.
2. After-Lunch "Brain Gym"
Boredom is a huge trigger for dementia and "grumpy" behavior, especially when the two of them start bickering.
- The Ground Reality: Once lunch is cleared, there’s a long, boring "blank" period before dinner.
- The Instruction: Tell your helper that after the dishes are dried, her "job" is to spend 20 minutes engaging them. Have Ah Gong "help" shell beans for dinner while Ah Ma sorts through old family photos, or get them to play a simple round of Snap together.
- Why it works: It keeps their brains "firing" and makes them feel like they are still useful members of the house, not just "patients."
3. The 4 PM "Social Bridge"
Loneliness is a silent killer, even when they have each other for company. Your helper is the bridge to the rest of the family.
- The Ground Reality: 4 PM is usually when seniors get restless or lonely (what we call "sundowning").
- The Instruction: Make it a rule: 4 PM is Video Call time. Have her call the grandkids or play some old dialect songs on YouTube (Hokkien, Cantonese, Teochew—whatever they love).
- Why it works: It breaks the "boredom cycle." Hearing a grandchild's voice or an old song changes the entire mood of the evening.
4. Don’t just ask "Is Everything Okay?"
When you come home from work and ask "Is everything okay?", the helper will always say "Yes, Ma’am/Sir."
- The Ground Reality: You only find out there’s a problem when it’s too late.
- The Instruction: Give your helper a $2 notebook. Ask her to jot down simple notes for both parents: Did Ah Ma finish her rice? Did Ah Gong trip today? Was Ah Ma’s mood okay?
- Why it works: You’ll catch health issues (like a UTI or a "mini-stroke") much faster by spotting the patterns in writing yourself.
The gentleHelp "Daily Care" Fridge List
Stick this on the fridge so your helper knows that "Care" for Ah Gong and Ah Ma is just as important as the cleaning:
- 8:00 AM: 5 mins of stretches for both while the water boils.
- 1:30 PM: 20 mins of engagement (Cards, photos, or shelling beans).
- 4:00 PM: Call the grandkids or play old dialect songs.
- 8:00 PM: Quick update in the "Care Log" (one section for Ah Gong, one for Ah Ma).
The Bottom Line
At gentleHelp, we believe "Gentle Care" means caring for the person, not just the house. When you show your helper how to do these small things, you aren't just managing an employee—you’re making sure your parents live with more dignity and joy.
Looking for a helper who actually has the "heart" to engage with your parents? Come have a chat with us at gentleHelp.
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